


Keeping You Alive

by WrittenMurder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempted Murder, Chemistry, Confusion, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, I suck at this., More tags will follow as I write I suppose, Murder, Nightmares, Out of Character Severus Snape, Poisoning, Slow Burn, Temporary Amnesia, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7790812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenMurder/pseuds/WrittenMurder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape/reader</p><p>Ever since I appeared in this school, instead of remembering, my mind has only been getting fuzzier. Perhaps the man clad in black can help with a potion of his. Little did I know though, that the future held much more for us than a mere potion from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In Azkaban, I have no entertainment or distraction to keep a hold on my sanity, and perhaps that was the whole point of being here, but the fact that I am entirely too aware of that fact, made it even worse because I tried to cling to every sliver of memory I could get a hold of and bottled it up to keep me company. Sometimes it helped to count the spells I knew or even say them under my breath just to keep my mind running; "...Ferula, Flagrate, Lumos, Muffliato, Petrificus Totalu-" Suddenly and without a warning, my cell door was opened harshly and the spell I was just reciting was used on me; I was then cuffed and hauled to my feet. "It's your lucky day [y/n] you're getting out." Two guards then grabbed me by my arms while the third removed the spell. Even with the enchantment now removed, I found that I was unable to move due to pure shock; for a moment I contemplated that perhaps I had fallen asleep and this was just some cruel dream from which I'd wake up; but as soon as they forced my feet to touch the outside of my cell, I grinned unabashedly. This was real, I was getting out and the more cells I passed, the bigger my grin grew.

\------------------

After waking from a potion induced sleep, my mind felt fuzzier than ever; my surroundings were unfamiliar and nothing seemed to click. I sat up straight and realised I was in an office of sorts, seated in a chair that engulfed my small looking frame. The air was warm, there were books in high shelves and before me laid a huge wooden desk. It was only then I noticed an old man sitting behind it with a patient smile. "I see you're awake [L/N]" I tried to search tin my mind to see if I knew this man, but nothing came up. Everything was just a blank page waiting to be written on. "I-I'm sorry, but I can't remember very much. Do...do I know you?" The man held his breath for a moment and after what seemed like forever, he spoke. "Do you not remember anything, but your name?" The question itself wasn't a hard one, but for some reason, I had no idea what to answer. My silence seemed to just confirm whatever suspicions he had and he let out an audible sigh. "Don't worry [Y/N]. It matters not. I am positive you will recall everything in no time. In the meantime, Welcome to Hogwarts., school of witchcraft and wizardry."

 

It seemed like forever before I finally spoke, my senses became dulled and I felt as if a cold bucket of water was poured over me. He wasn't giving me a choice to leave, he was simply telling that I was going to stay. For a _very _foolish moment, the thought that this was basically kidnapping crossed my mind and I began to question what authority this man held over me that he thought he could order me around. "Who says I'm okay with any of this? With all due respect sir, I have absolutely no idea who you are and you've just told me that I'm going to be staying at this school because you said so? I'm sorry, but I don't see how that's much different from kidnapping." My objection seemed to have shocked him greatly judging by his wide eyes, and in hindsight, I should have analysed the situation with a bit more detail before running my mouth in such a disrespectful way. Nevertheless, the old man's patience and good manners never faltered. "[Y/N], I understand your discomfort and distress, but you must remain calm. I recognise my approach could have been a better one, but you were brought here for a reason. You and this school have a history and we thought that perhaps if you relived some of your past, you might remember what happened in the last three years." Needless to say, there was an awkward silence in the room that I had no idea how to break, the man was just trying to help and I lashed out at him like a complete imbecile.__

__"Ah...well, I guess you could have started with that and perhaps all of this could have been avoided..." With that comment, the silence only grew, so I improvised. "Do I just start school normally or...Wait, I don't even have the materials. What am I saying?" At this point my embarrassment had gotten the best of me and I had began to fiddle with my fingers; this had to be one of the worst feelings ever. First, I disrespect an elder, which was just trying to help by the way, Second, and worst part, is that he has such good manners, that he didn't even reprimand me for it! He just sat there with the same expression of patience. "There is something every first year has to go through, it is called sorting, but you've already been through it." From then on, the awkwardness eased and he began to explain everything about the school, the places that were banned for the students, holiday breaks and so on; by the end of the brief but lengthy explenation, he excused himself from the room. At first I thought he had gone o the loo, but he came back rather quickly with old looking robes in his hands. "These were yours when you studied here. Since your leave was quite...sudden, we held onto these in case you came back." The man, who I now knew was Dumbledore, then approached and placed the robes in my hands. Something about the nostalgic look in his eyes and the feel of the fabric on my skin seemed to jack something inside my head and for a brief moment, I remembered running through a forest scared, but before I could try to push the memory for more information, it simply dissipated into nothing. I contemplated briefly sharing the snippet of the memory, but pushed the thought away; it was an incomplete piece of a probably much bigger puzzle and most likely useless, so I just smiled up at him. "Thank you, sir."_ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, test and assignments have been flowing my way endlessly and I have barely had time to update my new child xD. Hope you enjoy it, if you find any errors, please notify me and I will correct as soon as possible. - WM

I was a ghost in the town of the living, walking around aimlessly through the vast halls of this ancient castle, or at least that's how most teachers made it seem. It had all started when I had woken at an earlier time than required and decided to roam the halls. It had felt like second nature to do so, so I just kept walking seeing no harm in what I was doing; that is until I bumped into a woman in olive green robes. My immediate response was to apologize, but as soon as I got a look at the woman's aged face, instead of an annoyed expression I found one of pure shock. She looked as if she had undoubtedly seen a ghost.

A short time later after the incident, I passed by a short man with impeccable clothing who seemed to be in a hurry. For a moment I wondered what was on his mind that had him so focused, but when I saw him stop mid walk only to stare at me dumbfounded, I almost lost it. That was the second person today that looked at me as if I had grown another head and I had no idea why! He must have noticed my mild distress because he quickly composed himself and continued walking normally, but which a much more troubled expression. At this point, I began thinking that perhaps I had forgotten to brush my hair this morning or simply had something on my face. Nevertheless, I continued my journey around the castle following the direction in the parchment Dumbledore had given me. After a few wrong turns and frustrated grunts, I reached a wooden door. I would certainly need some practice before I could navigate this place coherently. Just as I was about to try the handle, first day of school jitters came rushing in and I froze. 

What if I failed?! I couldn't remember anything for Merlin's sake! I should have thought this through better. How did I even imagine I could pass the class without a drop of knowledge from the previous years?! Midway through my small mental breakdown, the door opened and a tall man with flowing, black robes emerged; the immediate scent of spices invaded my senses and all I could do was stare while frozen in place. Merlin, that man knew how to do an entrance. Though judging by his expression, he wasn't very happy with my sudden intrusion.

If I had just entered the damned classroom this could have been avoided. I was now probably late and in trouble! I waited for the reprimand and the bark of orders from the man as if on instinct, but it never came. Instead, I was met with a deafening silence which seemed to echo off the walls. "[Y/N]?" The deep, baritone voice which now spoke my name, caused me to immediately meet his gaze. I had not been expecting it to be so out of breath and unsure, I also didn't expect the depth of his dark eyes which were now full of so much shock. He seemed familiar, but the way he was now looking at me wasn't; it somehow didn't suit him. "Sir? Are you alright?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heavily neglected this story and I apologise profusely. I've had tons of essays due as well as Chemistry test. Obviously, this made it nearly impossible for me to edit this chapter properly. For now, I'm leaving you with a rough draft. Please enjoy this garbage and remember, fan fictions are only as good as you think them to be. Feel free to leave pointers and kudos; all opinions are welcomed and will be taken into consideration.

In the quietness of the halls, I could hear my own heartbeat and the way it hammered against my chest while I just stood there observing him.  He seemed torn between disbelief and anger, but in a matter of second anger seemed to be the one to win.  "You disappear for two years without saying a word and simply...re-appear? It's nice to know some things never change."  The barely concealed anger and sarcasm in his voice was a big contrast to his now stoic face; if someone were to look from a distance they would think we were having a normal talk.  Just as I was about to tell him I had no idea what he was talking about and that perhaps he had the wrong person, the sudden chatter of the students filled the hall.  This was enough to cue us both that our small, hostile encounter had to be cut short.

In an unexpected turn of events he rolled his eyes while taking an intense deep breath.  "It was always my dream to start the day with an empty stomach."  Without a second thought, he turned and entered the classroom without another word, this left me feeling oddly torn and terribly confused. I didn't even know the man and he already seemed to hate my guts. With a sigh I looked at the parchment to try and locate my next destination and it was then that I spotted at the top of the page something I had missed.   _ **"After waking, you will be served breakfast at The Great Hall.."**_

 

Oh... _That's_ what he meant by empty stomach...

 

After shoving the parchment into my bag rather harshly, I brushed a hand through my hair in desperation.  I had just gotten here and I had already managed to infuriate a professor who I didn't know, which probably meant that my grades would suffer the impact of this one sided conversation.  At this point I couldn't help but groan out loud and kick myself mentally. Merlin was I stupid!  If I had just read the parchment carefully perhaps this entire situation could've been avoided! Smashing way to start an amnesiac school year, right? 

With much regret, I noticed that I now had to actually go in and take his class which meant that the possibilities of getting enterable on my first day got raised to a 70%.  I didn't dare enter the classroom alone though and since I didn't exactly remember anyone here, I slipped inside with a group of students who paid little mind to me. Mustering up all the shreds of courage I had left, I chose a seat at the back and waited for the rest to file in.  As soon as everyone was seated, he began with an introduction that left me both speechless and with an odd familiar feeling. "There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death..." 

Now that I had a calmer attitude and he wasn't treating me like garbage, I was able to admire the way he spoke and moved as if he knew everyone's most private thoughts and his voice! It was abnormally deep; amazing to say the least, but then I remembered the earlier events and all the appreciation of it melted away as quickly as it came. 

"Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to not pay attention! Ms. [L/N]. Where would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?" Startled by the sudden interruption of my chain of thoughts, my mind went into overdrive and I spoke far quicker than I could possibly process. "Sir, a Bezoar is a stone, taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from the most poisons." The still nameless Professor seemed completely unimpressed by my answer and gave me a once-over; if I weren't paying attention, I would have missed the smallest smirk. "Ms. [L/N], Detention." I seemed to have spoken too soon, he was still intent of treating me like scum. "Sir, but I've done nothing wrong!" The professor seemed to take this as a direct questioning of his authority because he came closer with a menacing air; so much so that the students seemed to shrink away from his very presence.

"You are violating the school's dress code Ms.[L/N]." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see students' complete focus on us with shocked expressions; this must have been the first time someone had questioned his motives. This meant little to me though because either way I was about to protest and ask how in Merlin's beard I was breaking the rules, but yet again, he jumped ahead and leaned down only to point at my chest. "You don't have your tie." I had to take an immediate deep breath to calm myself since I could feel the anger boil within me aggressively. This man had to be kidding! The sinister manner in which he had uttered those five words was completely infuriating and I had to clench my jaw in order to keep myself from back talking. It took several deep breaths, but as he leaned back, I eventually managed to simmer down. Having calmed I closed my eyes briefly and swallowed before answering. Learn when you are beat, right? "Yes Sir."


End file.
